I cannot come to God like this, I thought. Come on. I wiped my eyes in front of the mirror. Let’s clean up this mess and then we can pray.
I plopped myself down on my chair and bowed my head, taking a few breaths to calm myself.
But I could not keep it in. I broke down crying.
Stop it, I told myself. Get it together. God does not want to see you like this. You’re not supposed to be upset about this.
Ever felt so broken that you broke down crying, and then felt guilty for being so upset?
Even though we have the promise of God’s sovereignty, life still hurts. What is worse is that sometimes going to God does not feel safe because we think we are supposed to tough this out on our own.
I thought I needed to pull myself together and pretend I was not struggling to come to Jesus, but Jesus met me where I was and it changed my life.
How we come to Jesus
We have heard stories of Jesus healing blind people and forgiving sinners. Imagine what it was like to be one of those people. Do you think they might have wanted to run away and hide and pretend that they were not struggling?
That was my mindset as I wiped my tears in front of the mirror. I was trying to calm down so I could show God that I was doing fine and I could handle this situation.
But those people had the humility to realize that they did not have a handle on their situation. When they put aside their pride and came, Jesus changed their lives.
Look how Jesus received those people when they came to Him. He never said they needed to look presentable before He healed them. In fact, the very moment they were at their weakest, He was strong.
I thought I was doing the right thing by pretending this pain was not bothering me. But Jesus invited me to come to Him. Through His strength, not my own self-soothing, I can bear the weight of the grief.
It’s ok to cry while you pray. You do not need a script when you come to God. You do not need to arrange the right words. You can be honest.
But there are times we are so overwhelmed that we have no idea what to say. That is when the Holy Spirit comes to our rescue. Romans 8:26 says that the Spirit prays for us with wordless groans.
There are so many things in this life that cause wordless groans. It is a relief to know that when we pray while in shock or grief, we do not have to say anything at all.
It’s ok to cry while you pray because God meets us in our suffering. We do not need to wipe our tears before we bow our heads.
Do you know what the most beautiful part of this is? Revelation 21:4: “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
It’s ok to cry while you pray right now, but one day, we won’t have to.